Continues from here.
I did spend the next day wondering if I’d made the right decision. I guess it’s only natural to second guess yourself when the decision you made seemingly goes against everything you agree with. I did consider ringing Simon and telling him I couldn’t make it, but I didn’t make a habit of lying and if he pushed me for a real answer I was afraid I’d just give in and end up going anyway.
When Saturday afternoon arrived I could barely eat lunch I was so bloody nervous. It annoyed me to no end, it wasn’t like I was new to the dating scene I’d had a few dates since being single, but the idea of Simon’s ex-wife possibly being present just wouldn’t leave my mind.
Thoughts of what I should wear filled my mind after I finally managed to eat lunch and down my caramel infused coffee. Should I wear something casual? Should I wear something fancy? Should I wear something sexy? I ruled out the last one, I even ruled out the idea of wearing my body hugging blue teddy because I just didn’t want to have thoughts of romance entering my mind while I was sitting at Simon’s house. In the end I decided to go casual, denim pants and a loose fitting black blouse. I didn’t go for my ‘granny underwear’ as a further put off, I wanted to be comfortable after all, but I did go for some of my less sexier and lacy numbers.
I walked to Simon’s house a mix of emotions. Enthusiasm, anticipation, excitement and hesitation filled my mind as the cool autumn breeze fluttered through my hair. At one point, just as I was crossing Sanders Street, not that the location matters, I was over come with horniness. I couldn’t believe it, I knew I was turned on by Simon but I didn’t realize just walking to his house would make me feel that turned on.
More than once since Simon paid a visit to the cafe my mind had tried to think it’s way around the fact that the front door of the house was in what Simon described as “her end of the house”. My mind knew that the set up of the house, and their strange separated life, didn’t automatically mean SHE would answer the door when the doorbell rang, but my mind also kept telling me that it was more than likely going to happen.
As I walked up the onto the front porch the feeling that SHE would answer the door was still at the forefront of my mind. Between knocking on the door and hearing the latch open my heart was racing I couldn’t believe how nervous I was. Unfortunately all those nerves were justified as the front door open and there she was.
“Uh, um, Hi. Is Simon home?” I stammered knowing full well he was home but too nervous to get the right words out.
“Yeah, he’s down in the kitchen. Who should I say is calling?”
Ok it wasn’t the worst greeting she could offer, in fact it was darn pleasant compared to our last meeting but I could tell she wasn’t as happy with the situation as Simon had explained she was. Weirdly enough I actually felt sorry for her.
“You know who this is.” I heard Simon’s voice come from inside the house. “Just let her in please!”
SHE stepped out of the way and allowed me to enter. I tentatively walked past her and immediately saw Simon ushering me towards where he was.
As I walked into the kitchen and dinning room area Simon asked if I wanted coffee, at least I assumed he was asking me but there was another voice who answered before I could get any words out.
“We’ve talked about this,” Simon started, “you promised me you’d give us space, please don’t break that promise.”
Although I don’t really blame her for her intrusion, it was after all still her house, I was a little annoyed by it. Thankfully though her last intrusion was when she came into the kitchen to make her own coffee. I could see Simon was annoyed by what she was doing but I felt somewhat sorry for her. Maybe in time things would get better and easier to handle for her but with the wounds so raw it was hardly surprising that she was testing the water. Don’t get me wrong I still hated her but I couldn’t help but think if I was silly enough to put myself in her position I would probably try the same thing once or twice.
“I’m sorry about her,” Simon said as she left with her coffee, it was loud enough for her to hear as she disappeared to ‘her end of the house’ but to her credit she didn’t react.
“You don’t need to apologize.” I meant that, but felt I just had to add something else. “It’s part of the reason I felt so uncomfortable coming here. I know you are trying, I know you have separated, but you are living under the same roof and sharing so much of the same things.” I actually hoped SHE could hear me talking as well.
Simon said nothing, there really was nothing he could say, he obviously hadn’t before that time thought of just how many hurdles there would be inviting women back to his shared lifestyle. I suppose if I was honest with myself even the few hurdles I had mentioned to him he hadn’t fully expected so I shouldn’t have been surprised he hadn’t thought of something as simple as a shared kitchen during a coffee date.
I tried hard not to let things get to me and I really hoped for Simon’s sake I was doing it but after another two hours I just couldn’t do it any longer. We hadn’t had any further visits or interruptions but SHE was still on my mind and it was annoying me.
“I’m going to go home now Simon. Thank you for the coffee and cake, thank you for an enjoyable afternoon.”
“You don’t have to leave yet.” he replied.
“Maybe not, but I am.” I said as I got up from the table and carried my empty cup and plate to the sink.
“Leave them there, I’ll wash them later,” He said. “From now on when you come around please come around the back door, it will make things easier.”
He was of course assuming I’d be coming back, but the offer was at least polite and heartfelt.
“Thank you Simon.” I answered and headed for the dinning room door.
“Let me walk you home, please.”
I let him. On the way home we discussed the awkwardness of the situation, his desire to keep inviting me, and his promise that he would continue to make sure his ex-wife would not interrupt any further coffee or dinner dates.
The annoying thing was that I think he knew just how much I wanted things to work, which did give him the upper hand, but I think he also knew I was not going to rest on my morals.
At my front door we kissed, and kissed deeply. It was hot, wet and passionate and I was so tempted to invite him inside and relieve the tension that was building up inside me but I definitely wasn’t giving in to him that easily.
“Can we try again next weekend?” he asked as I opened he door and he knew the coffee date, or whatever it was, was over.
“Simon, I just don’t know.”
“Please, the kids will be away again.” He said it like the kids were the stumbling block. I swear if this guy wasn’t as hot as hell I’d have given up on him long ago. “Their grand parents are complaining that they never see them and that all this separation bullshit is effecting them. They think they are the only ones who can fix it.”
“Simon I’m not sure if you realize just how hard it was for me today with her around.”
“She’s going away next weekend too!” Simon said.
It kind of sounded like an after thought, a lure to get me to say yes, and I knew I should have thought about it further but I didn’t and I just blurted out that I would think about. I then said goodbye and entered my house leaving him on the doorstep.
With the feeling lingering in my heart and other sensual areas, I had to close the door quickly before I gave into them.