Rock Hard: Fleeing in tears

Continues from here.

I stormed from the public toilets straight out the venue door, I didn’t care that security were standing at the door trying to stop people get in, I barged straight past them swung the door back on it’s hinges and marched out the door. The waiting crowd outside wasn’t huge but there was some punters who spotted me and tried to chat. It was the first time in my entire career I had shunned a fan and I really did it in style by shunning a crowd of them.

The motel room was only about half a mile from the venue and I think I stomped every damn step of the way. I have no idea what I looked like to the rest of the world and at that moment I didn’t care. I stomped past our own security, who were standing at the perimeter of the motel rooms watching over the tour bus, without saying a word and I stomped straight into my room slamming the door behind me.

Inside the room I threw myself onto the bed and began crying. I don’t know how I had managed to make it to my room without crying but I was thankful I did. We may not be the biggest band in the world but we still have arsehole paparazzi hiding in wait to catch us doing something silly. The female lead singer of a Power Metal band stomping the streets would be bad enough but if she was in tears as well there would be certain magazines out there willing to pay good money for proof of it.

I didn’t cry for long, a few minutes only, it’s not that I am emotionless it’s more that anger seems to take over tears after a short time. Tears gone I flopped myself over onto my back and began bashing the bed with my feet and fists.

“Goddam bastard.” I thumped again. “Why did you let him get so close?” Thump. “Why?” Thump “Why?” Thump.

While to the an observer I might have looked out of control waving my arms and legs in the air and crashing them down on the bed I was actually in complete control. It was just my method of regaining control. Occasionally I might hit a table, the odd time I might hit a wall but I’m never silly enough to hit anything with enough force to cause damage to myself or the item in question. The quick release of anger however is always enough to calm my mood and settle me down.

I’d stopped beating the bed up when Adam finally arrived at the door, I looked at the clock and was surprised to see I’d been laying on the bed for nearly ten minutes.

“Maybe he had to wait for her to finish what she started before running to his girlfriend.” My stupid brain said without warning.

“Christie!” he knocked several times and when he got no response he quietly spoke to the wooden door knowing I could hear but keeping as much as he could from any eavesdroppers. “It’s not what it looked like… Christie I wasn’t doing anything… Please open the door so we can talk… Christie I’m begging you!… Christie I’m not that sort of guy!”

I remained silent behind the door just hoping Adam would go away but his voice got louder almost as if he suddenly didn’t care who around him could hear what he had to say.

“Christie, please I love you, there is no way I’d do anything to fuck that up!”

Swearing and a confession of love? I was beginning to think the guy really was serious, but I know what I saw and love does not mean you go around getting head jobs off groupies, well at least not in my book. The problem was my book wasn’t the same as everyone elses, there were guys in the crew who loved to play the groupie card while they were on tour either keeping it secret from their partners or having the kind of open relationship that allowed it. I was different, that wasn’t my book.

After not getting a response from his confession of love he must have decided he was better off not trying to change my mind because he said goodbye and promised to catch up with me at the show. I had other ideas. Although I’d never abandon a show based upon a lovers tiff I immediately started to think about ways to avoid Adam before and after the gig.

I spent the next few hours preparing myself for the gig and trying to clear my head. I was prepared to give the fans the best show possible despite how crappy I felt about things. I was also prepared not to sit down and eat dinner with the rest of the band and I ordered room service from the motel reception.

When I arrived at the gig Jason was the first person I saw, my luck was obviously getting worse!

“Christie, Adam was telling the truth.” He pushed he phone towards me, “Look at this.”

“Fuck off Jason,” I said and kept walking into the band room where I saw Adam and headed straight back out again.

I was able to avoid both Jason and Adam right up until I was due on stage. I talked to Dean and he asked me what was up but I had no intention of telling him what was actually going on and I bumped into Jason as I was about to step onto the stage. For a second time he tried to talk to me but I ignored him.

For nearly two hours I gave it my all on stage, I pushed my singing, I pushed my theatrics and I pushed my playing and after three encores I figured I had given the crowd everything they paid for. Then instead of our usual wind down after the show I went straight back to my room. The walk back to the room wasn’t as grumpy as the previous walk but due to the thousands of fans still milling around the venue and looking for somewhere else to party on I was escorted by several well wishing fans that made the trip a bit slower. When I got within 200 yards of our rooms security stepped in and kept the fans at bay which I was thankful for.

I didn’t realise how much the fans had slowed me down until I shut the door and immediately heard a knock. I really hoped I wasn’t going to have a repeat of the afternoon’s confession. Instead I didn’t hear any voice all I heard was the snib of the door as it opened. I was just about to grab the door and slam it shut when I realised it was Dean that was entering carrying a packet of crisps. I cursed myself for not locking my door, although it could have been worse.

“What’s going on sis?”

“What do you mean?” I was acting innocent, I really didn’t think, or at least I hoped Dean hadn’t agreed to do Adam’s dirty work but I wasn’t taking chances.

“Why did you leave so quickly?”

“I’m tired.”

“Don’t bullshit me Chris, I know something is up”

“So why don’t you tell me what it is Einstein?” I fired at him quickly. He was becoming the punching bag for my anger and I didn’t like that but he was the one that walked in my door.

“Don’t shut me out Chris. Has Adam done something?” He sounded apologetic.

“You tell me, obviously he sent you.”

“Bullshit Chris, you know I’d never chose anyone over you, even Adam. What the hell is going on, you put on a hell of a performance tonight but I could tell the power you were strumming with, the power you were singing with, were all fuelled by anger. Something has pissed you off and it seems to have pissed Adam off too because he’s acting like a fucking love sick puppy dog.” Despite the few colourful words I could tell Dean was concerned not angry.

Dean and I kept few secrets from each other and plenty of times we’d discussed our love lives, not in intimate details but we did talk to each other, however I still didn’t particularly want to talk to him about his best friend. However I must really have wanted to talk to someone because I opened my mouth and words dropped out.

“I walked into the ladies toilets before and Jason and Adam were in there with girls going down on them, Adam had two girls.”

Dean let me tell my entire story before he said anything, god bless him, and when I finally was finished I could tell he was irate. He didn’t ask me if I was sure of what I saw, he didn’t try to make excuses, not that there was any to be made, and he was nothing but supportive of me. I couldn’t be more proud of my brother. It was then the shit hit the fan even harder than it had before.

Without knocking and without saying anything Adam walked straight in the door.

“You fucking piece of shit.” Dean said as he stood up, walked towards Adam and laid a punch square on Adam’s chin.

Adam went down hard and quick.

“What the hell did you do that for?” I screeched at Dean.

“The bastard deserved it.” Dean replied shaking the pain from his fist.

As Adam used the table for support and climbed back to his feet I knew the last punch had not been delivered.


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