Ride Hard: Waking Up Alone

Continues from here.

When I finally did nod off I had a reasonably good sleep, it probably wasn’t enough but it was reasonable none the less. The strange thing about my sleep was that I actually remembered my dream when I woke up at 6:34am. It’s not that I never remember my dreams I do sometimes but not often, usually I remember patches of them, occasionally it’s enough to piece together the gist of the dream other times it’s just a weird mix of scenes that don’t make sense.

As you can probably guess the dream I had that night involved Jack, I guess that was hardly a surprise given how much Jack was involved in my life and how my feelings for him were growing, and simmering so strongly. What was surprising, for me anyway, was that in the dream I was wearing a whit dress, yes that kind of white dress.

Now I may not have been over run with boy friends in my life but like most girls I had dreamed of marrying my Prince Charming since I was a teenager. Most of the time Prince Charming didn’t have a face but the few he did it looked nothing like Jack, I wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad sign but I was willing to accept that was only because the last time I had that dream I didn’t know Jack existed.

When I saw my father walking me down the aisle it was like I was watching the scene play out on a TV, I had multiple angles to view things from and I could see all the action. I was wearing a beautiful white dress with a train that trailed about twelve feet behind me. Jack stood at the altar looking as gorgeous as ever in a dark blue pin stripped suit with a light blue shirt and single color blue tie.

I remember seeing the service happen from multiple angels, my father walking me to Jack, the two of us standing side by side, the priest reading the service and then the two of us kissing, it was beautiful, it was romantic and it was stunning. However for all the details I could see there was so much I couldn’t make out, the exact features of my dress, the guests in the church or most importantly the ring Jack placed on my finger. But the two things I could make out, and they were as clear as day was the watch and the necklace that I had bought Jack.

Once I recognized the necklace on Jack I tried to look at my own chest to see of the other half of the Harley Davidson emblem was hanging around my neck, surely if we were getting married it was, but I couldn’t see it. Even when we were walking down the aisle as man and wife and I was looking at the two of us from directly in front.

It was at that moment I realized that if Jack was wearing a suit I’d struggle to see his necklace underneath his shirt and tie. I looked again at Jack’s chest and suddenly realized I was right I couldn’t see the necklace. I then looked at his left arm and couldn’t see the watch. Both the presents I’d bought Jack, which no doubt had a major influence on the dream I was having, were missing. What did that mean? Did it mean anything?

That’s when I woke up and saw that it was 6:34am.

By 6:40am I’d decided the dream meant nothing, well nothing in the big scheme of things anyway. It didn’t change my thoughts about Jack and it wasn’t going to stop me giving Jack the presents I had bought him. It was just a dream.

I dressed and got myself ready for work, I was a little bit early so I could afford to take my time a bit. I took my dirty bowl from breakfast to the sink and was just going to fill it with water and leave it there but then I had the thought that I wasn’t sure if I’d be having a guest for dinner so I rinsed it out and sat it on the dish drainer. I did the same thing with my coffee cup and then headed towards the table to get my hand bag and car keys.

I arrived at work at 7:52am, eight minutes early and ready to go, well ready to look like I was ready to go. By the time Bill arrived at 8:15am I had nearly convinced myself that I actually wanted to be at work. It was an odd feeling for me, I know everyone goes through stages of not wanting to be at work, even in the best of jobs but for me it didn’t happen often. But the silliest thing was that while I didn’t really want to be at work I didn’t really know where I wanted to be. If Jack had been back in town obviously I would have wanted to be with him but since I hadn’t heard from him, and didn’t expect to until at least lunch time, I didn’t know where I wanted to be if not at work. Still I’m nothing if not professional and I got on with my work as I would have any other day.

Bill was in a really good mood and his presence and occasional comment helped me get through the morning, as did the three cups of coffee I drank. By lunch time I had not only finished all the payroll but the accounts as well, for someone who wasn’t really that enthusiastic to be at work I was actually quite efficient and when Bill invited me to choose which local restaurant our lunch would come from I was in much better spirits.

While we were waiting for our lunch to be delivered my cell phone rang, I knew instantly it would be Jack and quickly dragged it out of my hand bag. Jack and I spoke for nearly twenty minutes, he’d arrived back at work in time for his own lunch. Due to their over nighter he was sending Henry home early and if things remained quiet he was going to send himself home by three o’clock.

“Are you too tired for some company tonight?” I asked as I saw one of the boys from the yard drive past the window in the truck returning with our lunch.

“I can’t promise it will be a late night but I’m always up for a bit of company if that company is you. How about you come around after work, I’ll definitely be home by then, even if I stay later than three.”

I was just about to say yes when I remembered that I didn’t have the presents I’d bought Jack in the car or in my bag, I’d left them on the table in the living room. Although time wasn’t a big issue I’d have to go home pick up the things, then almost drive past work again on my way to Jack’s place.

“How about you come to my place and I’ll cook you dinner?” I asked thinking quickly.

As Bill and my lunch was delivered to the office I heard Jack agree to dinner, all I had to do was figure out what to cook him.

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